Boredom and life...

God, I'm spending more time online than I wish I did. It's probably because the summer is winding down and most of my friends have gone back to full-work, or are getting ready to go back to school, so... Gah...

Sometimes I wish I was going to school. Sometimes I wish I was working on my education, but then I have to wonder, what the hell am I going to prepare for, when I can't yet decide what the hell I wanna do with my life? When I graduated high school, everyone around me seemed to have a plan. Everyone was either going to be a doctor or a lawyer, or some kind of engineer, or a business manager, or an architect, or even something as boring and depressing as an accountant, and I remember being one of those people.

I wanted to become a lawyer when I graduated high school. The idea of it made me feel rather enthused, and thinking about it rationally, it was really something that made sense, and I never thought it would be difficult to me, something that I was able to confirm a few months later, when I actually went to college and started working towards my law degree. Rationally speaking, it was a good choice. But then I realized that reason and emotion don't go hand-in-hand. I realized that I didn't really wanna a be a lawyer, and I dropped out.

And ever since then, this is what I've been doing. Working, wasting time online, living a life that I don't really want to live, but what else am I to do? If I could decide what I want to do with my life and say "hey, this is what I'm going to work on and I'll like it", then that's what I'd be doing, but my mind doesn't really work like that. I can't decide on anything. I like a lot of stuff, but I can't say I feel especially passionate about something, and I don't wanna waste more college tuition fees on aimlessly testing the waters, so to speak.

So instead, I'm sitting here on a late summer night, typing this blog. And it sucks, because I feel like I should be doing something. I should be working towards something instead of having a half-assed job that I don't care about. Maybe I should travel to see if that clears my head.

What do you think?